Continued Adolescence (W2)

"I am at my best when I am out of my own head. When I am immersed in doing things I enjoy I can help and inspire people."

We covered a lot of ground in 80 minutes. Woman 2 (W2) jumped into the interview with both feet. She had not read my self-interview post so she was wholly candid. We broke it all the way down over some Chuy's chips and salsa. She made me laugh, she nearly made me cry, and she opened my eyes to how lightening up a bit can smooth out life's path.

One of the first questions I asked was, "what do you know for sure?" I asked it early on with hope it would set the mood and give me some insight into where she finds her strength. Her answer was refreshing. (See below) She got a bit emotional when answering it and her body language and facial expressions were telling. She finished with a note about feeling hormonal. While the tears in her eyes said hormones we can all understand getting emotional when we collide with knowing we are loved, thought of, and important. These are feelings that stir us.

A little later she told me she would love to write a book titled "What the F Is Happening to My Body?" It would be the middle aged woman's version of the talk Doctor's give to preteens about what to expect in puberty "What the F" would cover what changes to expect as you age and head into menopause. (Can you say Best Seller?) Pretty sure unusual hair growth, questionable body chemistry, and managing a public "episode" should each get their own chapter. 

Its not every day you meet someone as ambitious and accomplished as W2. By day she works as an Innovation Director at a large KC Firm. By night she is a well-respected Improviser who has been honing her craft since the early 90's. She has been educating and coaching local improvisers for years. She has coached high school improv for 16 years. She teaches at the Annual KS State Thespian Conference. She is the President of her HOA and an ordained Elder at her Church.

She told me that she feels most powerful when she is using her gifts for good. She enjoys showing people their own courage. She feels strong when she is using her gifts as a leader and mentor. For fun she enjoys running, improvising, and going to Alamo Draft House for a movie, pretzel and a beer. Enabled by her Kindle she is currently binge reading dystopian teen fiction. Special note: The Brownfield Burger w/cheese from Green Room Burgers & Beer has been known to make her day.

She describe some struggles with Seasonal Affective Disorder. This year has been hard for her and she described feeling depressed and "pushed down". It is an issue that "lessens joy".

At 48 W2 has had many good and a few not-so-good dating experiences. She mentioned the line from The Big Chill about knowing in 15 seconds if someone is a romantic match. She mentioned several happy couples she knows who say they were crazy for each other early on. She said she doesn't need to subjugate herself for the sake of a relationship. "I can't imagine living with someone right now." So, she trusts her gut when it comes to love. No more waiting and watching to see if she can make a so-so match into a one and only.

What three words would your best friend use to describe you?

Funny / playful / kind

What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?

The annual alumni show with the high school improve group I've been working with for 16 years.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

I don't think I'm afraid. I don't think I would do things differently.

Where would we go for a "day of fun" in Kansas City?

We will start at Cliff Drive for a run or bike ride. Then head to Alamo Draft House to undo what we did that morning by having beers and pretzels while watching a movie. Then we can stroll around the Nelson Atkins for a bit.

This day can be as long as I want, right?

Next we will head to the Foundry and enjoy beers on the deck. If possible we will have the Jeremy Danner Tour at Boulevard Beer. (Only Jeremy's tour because he does it best) We will end our day by taking in Comedy City, the KCIK Theatre and a burger. (Make a note people. This is what maxing out the fun looks like!)

What event most shaped you over the last year?

My new job position. My work deals with topics like aging, end of life, etc. Through this work I realize now how much I want to be near family as I age.

What is your favorite part of your life right now?

Routine and comfort. I am not worried about money or time. I have a compromise free existence and it is working for me right now.

What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?

I'm an elder in a Presbyterian Church

What do you know for sure? 
My family loves me. I have wonderful friends. I am extremely hormonal right now.

What is your mantra?
Play. (She really means it. It's tattooed on her body!)

What question do you want to be asked? 
How are you? (And then they would wait for the answer.)

When you live alone you are not debriefed at the end of each day. Facebook has helped me with this. I feel connected to friends. At least to the ones I haven't hidden.

If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?

You're OK

Your census data is: Single / No Kids / Never married (and middle aged)

But, who are you really? Single / Young / Happy

So, what did I take away from this interview?

W2 said she agreed to be interviewed because she thinks the blog is super interesting and that she wanted to have lunch with me. In our single conversation she expressed feeling loved, important, uncompromised, and confident. She has ups and downs like everyone but she knows if she keeps moving forward with a focus on honesty and fun she will get there.

I asked what she would do if she realized her belief system guaranteed she could never get where she wanted to be in life. She answered that growing up in a military family she got used to rebooting. She is comfortable letting her beliefs evolve. Scrap what doesn't work and take what does.

I was impressed with her honesty about sometimes feel down or depressed. She is not always in the groove. Sometimes she has to fake it until she makes it. She was equally honest about unapologetically reaching for what she wants in life.

Simply put W2 lovely. My mental image of her is one with her smiling her big, genuine smile. She is unpretentious and brilliant. Her approachable nature may be her best attribute. I have known who she is for almost 20 years and run into her socially on occasion. This was the first direct conversation we have ever had. It was all I dreamt it could be.

How did she shape me?

Her story shows me that fun matters. Have fun at work. Have fun with friends. Pursue interests that you enjoy and you will improve the life of others.

Most importantly there are people in your life that intrigue you. Sometimes it is hard to find time to get together and explore friendship and common interests. Stay tuned. When you suspect someone is amazing you are likely correct. I'm glad that this casual acquaintance of nearly 20 years turned into an 80 minute conversation with a like-minded superwoman that will stick with me for a lifetime.

Can't wait to have that day of fun!