The Unknown (M14)

Right now, I am focused on taking care of myself - health, food, choices. 

What I think is most misunderstood about being a single man is that it is not always arrived at by choice.

Man 14 (M14) is 33 years old. Not long ago he moved back to Kansas City for a relationship. An, at times long distance relationship he had been in for six years. That relationship came to an end for, in my opinion, what amounts to a very honest reason.

They were in different places.
They saw the path forward differently.
Ultimately, the choice was made to be honest with themselves and each other. 
They admitted that they did not want the same thing at the same time and maybe they never would.

So often couples can't see the relationship forest for the trees. Not the case here. I'm sure it was a difficult decision. Kudos to them for coming to terms with where they were at.

Me - My Time (W16)

I chose to be single so I could focus on raising my kid. I tried dating and it just didn't work.

Woman 16 (W16) is 48 years old. Over the last year her daughter graduated from high school, she changed jobs, is contemplating moving a new home, and is thinking of trying out online dating.

I anticipated some conversation about empty nest syndrome or major realizations about life as a single, adult woman. That is not what I got. Even though she was focused on raising her daughter and making a living she found plenty of time for self discovery. She is not unclear about who she is or what she wants. She was honest and contemplative while we talked. She didn't have all of the answers. People are rarely so honest and open about not knowing what is coming next in life.

People misunderstand what it's like to be a single mom. It changes your perspective on things. I had to work a lot. I like what I do and it was my primary social outlet for a long time.  When I lost my Dad to cancer I went to work. It kept me from being alone. My work saved my life.

If You Don't Ask The Answer Is Always No (M13)

People misunderstand that being single is not about sleeping around.

Apparently not all single guys are players. Go figure! This guy is focused on his career. He wants to date. However, he is looking for someone who is also career driven, family oriented, and self-sufficient. If you have been single for six months or more you may be able to relate to what a tall order that seems be at times.

At 31 years old Man 13 (M13) is excited about where his life is going. As he should be! He is accomplished, well respected, and has incredible social and professional circles. And, interesting! I actually had to interview him twice. The first time I got so caught up in his professional accomplishments that I didn’t get enough personal info to write a blog post about him.

Sorry! Imagine how awkward I felt emailing him again to ask for two more drinks.