My biggest success in memory is completing my first year of teaching and surviving in KC alone.
Let me just say that she makes surviving look good! She lives Downtown. She is poolside at the Intercontinental in the Summer. She kicks it at happy hour or goes out dancing on the weekends. She frequents concerts and musicals or explores the city in her free time. Whether she is glammed up and heading out on the town or casual and cute headed to a Royals game she definitely knows how to have fun!
She is a teacher and said she feels powerful in her classroom. I manage para's and social workers. I have power and control. I give [my students] what they need. I'm successful. She went on to explain the reason why. The kids need me to be successful. I offer stability and structure.
Woman 19 (W19) is 29 years old. The part of her life that is working best right now is friendship. She explained that she has support and friendship around her specifically mentioning a few strong girlfriends. I eat ice cream on the couch to relax. I go dancing - do some booty shaking to have fun or I call a friend.
Some of her favorite KC venues include Starlight, Kauffman, and The Music Hall.
The most misunderstood thing about being a single woman is: people think I only want to have fun and don't want a commitment.
I ended by asking her to finish this sentence: W19 is…longing for love.
What three words would your best friend use to describe you?
Outgoing / Funny/ Giving
What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?
I saw the Blue Man Group. It was slap stick comedy, theater, unexpectedly humorous.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
I do a lot of stupid things as it is. I would move. Maybe to Germany or Austria. I would move up in my career.
Where would you take me in KC for a day of fun?
In the morning we would go to the City Market during Farmers' Market time. Then a Chiefs game during the day. We can get a Z-man with onion rings at Joe's BBQ for dinner. At night we would go to Sol Cantina for drinks.
What event most shaped you over the last year?
I went on a trip to the Dominican Republic. It was an actual vacation that I paid for with my own money. It was a great treat.
What is your favorite part of your life right now?
I have a supportive family. My parents.
What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?
I still suck my thumb.
What do you know for sure?
I'm a good catch. I would be a good girlfriend.
What is your mantra?
You can do it. (or) Stay positive.
What question do you most want to be asked?
Why do you do the job that you do?
If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?
You're beautiful
Your census data is: Single/ Never married / No kids
Who are you really? Single/ Confident / Independent
So, what did I take away from this interview?
Your 20's are fun. And...scary. And...filled with questions, personal successes, missteps, epiphanies, and an ever expanding horizon.
She reminded me about the thrill of moving to a new city, the power found in making big decisions, the excitement of a great first date and the defeat of an occasional rejection via disappearance. (You know. A handful of fun, flirty test messages and calls. A few fun dates. And then...nothing. He vanishes without a trace. What the hell is that all about anyway?!?)
With the right mindset the unknown can be thrilling. Every minute does not need to be scheduled. A day spent on the couch binging on movies, snacks, and "me time" can be delicious. A last minute night out with friends or an impromptu first date keep life exciting. Sometimes not knowing what the next day will bring is all you need to know.
How did she shape me?
I was impressed by how relaxed she was. I'm not sure I have the right words to describe her demeanor. She is working through her unknowns and managing the ups and downs of single life with ease. She was quick to smile and laugh. She was equally as quick to delve into a hard topic or share personal struggles with me.
When we allow ourselves to be open to experiencing life we are also exposed to the full spectrum of emotions that go with it. Call it taking the good with the bad...or whatever you want.
So many singles work their way into a very lonely place by trying to protect themselves from pain, loss, sadness and rejection. Unfortunately, that protection also serves to block out new experiences, thrilling moments, and amazing connections. Maintaining a death grip on your life (aka controlling or planning every moment) might suffocate everything including the good.
W19 is open to life and all of its twists and turns. She enjoys the highs and works through the lows. That was my biggest take-away from our interview. I want to take it all in. I want the full experience. Talking with her encouraged me to adjust my mindset and view every day is an opportunity. I am welcoming new people and experiences.
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