Apparently not all single guys are players. Go figure! This guy is focused on his career. He wants to date. However, he is looking for someone who is also career driven, family oriented, and self-sufficient. If you have been single for six months or more you may be able to relate to what a tall order that seems be at times.
At 31 years old Man 13 (M13) is excited about where his life is going. As he should be! He is accomplished, well respected, and has incredible social and professional circles. And, interesting! I actually had to interview him twice. The first time I got so caught up in his professional accomplishments that I didn’t get enough personal info to write a blog post about him.
Sorry! Imagine how awkward I felt emailing him again to ask for two more drinks.
He is an only child and has a close relationship with his parents. One thing that struck me about our conversation was how much he learned about living from his parents while still developing his own individual strengths.
He talked about his parents with great admiration and in a constantly positive light. While he has a different take on how to lead his own life he was able to verbalize a deep understanding of how and why their relationship works. Like many single people I have met his parents were described as great people who found a strong partnership together.
Eventually, he shared with me that his Mom has been recently diagnosed with leukemia. He described a small, tight knit family saying that basically it is the three of them. I have no doubt that he is a faithful side kick to both of them and should the need arise he will be right by their side to celebrate the highs and stand together in the lows.
What’s it all worth if you can’t share it.
When asked to describe himself in one word Man 13 (M13) said, “Relentless”.
I am excited about where I am in life. I enjoy my work, biking, travel and networking. Knowledge is power. I feel powerful when I am knowledgeable on a subject.
My best moment in memory is looking around the room at the end of my term as rotary president. I saw a room full of individuals that have become friends. I have a lot of supporters.
I am self conscious.
Surprise! Turns out that successful, attractive, single people don’t always believe they have the world on a string. M13 is a hard worker. He is efficient, writes thank you cards, follows up, grows his mailing list, networks, shakes hands, and sometimes...isn’t 100% sure of what life will bring next.
Sound familiar?
He told me his favorite music venue is Knuckleheads. He likes Texas Hill Country. (Yes, I did like him better when he said that) He even schooled me on Cross Canadian Ragweed. Being the lazy that I am I had no idea the band broke up. (WTH!) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross_Canadian_Ragweed
What three words would your best friend use to describe you?
Achiever/ Focused/ Optimistic
What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?
Jason Bolin concert at grinders. No expectations for the evening. It was just a fun, easy night.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
Living less planned. Less structure.
Where would we go for a "day of fun" in Kansas City?
A Saturday with no plan. Manhattan day trip. Enjoy the drive. Bourbon & Baker for whiskey and baked goods. Walk through campus. Golf at Manhattan Country Club.
What event most shaped you over the last year?
15-20 hours per week working on Rotary Club -- Transferred the presidency this year. It helped grow my business and I gained respect from professional peers.
What is your favorite part of your life right now?
I have time to do what I want. Won't always be this way.
What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?
I'm an introvert. I need time alone at the end of the day
What do you know for sure?
I know for sure that you cannot stress about everything. You have to keep going. Don't hold back because of stress.
What is your mantra?
Work hard, play harder.
If you don't ask the answer is always no.
Don't let the things you want make you forget the things you have.
What question do you want to be asked?
If you could live another place where would you live? And, why?
If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?
Make mistakes.
Your census data is: single/ no kids/ never married
Who are you really? Single/ Involved/ Fun
So, what did I take away from this interview?
Do a double take. Hell, rubber neck when the occasion calls for it.
Say something like, “I’m sorry, I got totally side tracked on that thing you said but I would really like to learn more about the other aspects of who you are.”
I almost skipped this blog post because I was distracted by how interesting this person was professionally. I lost my focus, and by virtue of doing so, almost missed out on learning what really drives him.
The other thing that struck me was what he said about body image.
He told me that his dating habits have been influenced by concerns about a skin condition; Psoriasis. Turns out, ladies might be a bit hung up on the physical right down to the most minor imperfections.
I must admit I can be myopic at times. I was unaware of the fact that men grapple with body image too. My suggestion to singles everywhere would be to stop draining your dating pool by judging people based on imperfections. When evaluating potential dates stick to a person’s character, moral fiber, and/or general ability to be fun as hell.
How did he shape me?
Simply put he reminded me to take stock of my goals. Work to be generally well rounded. But, most importantly decide what you want to be good at and work hard on that one thing.
He emphasized the importance of having a mentor, a plan, and goals for personal growth.
He is as passionate about his professional endeavors as he is about his life beyond work. He is physically, mentally, and socially fit. He puts in the work to get what he wants.
Show up, every day, and work for the life that you want.
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