It has been an incredibly thought provoking week! Several people have already raised their hand to be interviewed. (3 down, 67 to go) So, I have been thinking a lot about what I will ask them. I have been thinking about blogs, writers and peers that are candid and self aware, disarming and able to get to the heart of a matter with great sincerity.
Friends continue to ask me what my real goal is. What it "really is". My agenda is simply to have a real conversation with single people who are living life in Kansas City.
I hope that my curiosity will be inviting. I hope that 70 like-minded, inquisitive people will jump at the chance to join me in this experiment. I hope that 35 men and 35 women will have the courage to share their reality/their story with me in a single conversation.
Since I don't always have the right words and obviously brevity is not a gift I possess I thought I would share examples of bloggers who offer up topics for conversations that I think are worth having.
1. Connection is possible through authenticity. You may be familiar with Brené Brown from her TED Talks. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.
Her work is approachable and, for me, her research uncovers the key reasons why we are so socially insecure about the who/where/when of our life as it actually is today.
We all seek relationships in which we can be vulnerable and real. The people you are closest to want you to trust them with your true self. There is no greater display of trust or act of faith then to be authentic and vulnerable in the course of every day life.
2. There is no certainty in life so enjoy this day (even if it is a hard one). I Love this blogger. Really, I do. Bearing your soul is something we all do at one time or another. Some of us do it time after time. Sentimental or heart-on-your-sleeve types may do so frequently and actually reach some level of comfort in doing so.
Javagirl does so in a way that is honest, true, and so consistently vulnerable it is heart warming. At times terrifyingly heart breaking. This blog has been actively updated for six years. The blog started out journaling life as two people started down a mutual path. Along the way that life changes and Javagirl changes right along with it. The story that unfolds is one that I love. It is proof positive that life will deliver heart stopping surprises to your doorstep. Not any single one of us knows what the future will bring. We don't know how we will feel about it and we don't know what we will do once we catch our breath, stand up, and take the first step forward.
Reading Javagirl impresses upon me the importance of breathing deeply, living life today, learning, loving, getting angry, and getting heavily caffeinated before I take that first step.
3. Sometimes the beauty is in the struggle. This one may throw a few of you for a loop. This blogger speaks specifically about singleness in the church. The blog discusses the conflicts that exist between religious tenets and living life as a single person.
Roughly 50% of the American public is single. I assume that leads to 50% of adult church goers being single. The Church seemingly does not address singleness in any kind of comprehensive way. Singles Ministry and Singles Groups can be good components of a church. But, single people do not need to be "healed", "cured", or "led" out of their singleness. Single people are just like other church goers. They seek community, belonging and understanding.
This point resonates with me because the experience of faith, religion, or a lack there of exists for us all. Spiritual health matters. It affects our mindset and colors the lens through which we view the world.
I could go on about this topic ad nauseam and I have before. Suffice to say that church is a place that should offer a sense of belonging and rest. Singles often find church to be one of the most difficult and painful places to go. That is well worth discussion if you ask me.
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