So, now you must be wondering what he does with his time. Right?Man 9 (M9) is 36 years old. He has assumed guardianship of two boys whose parents were unable to care for them. He works full time (like most of us), is active in volunteer ministry at his church, enjoys running and spending time with his two boys.
I am an animal lover and have three dogs. My favorite music venues include my shower and my car. I think all honest people rank those among their top 3! I enjoy reading books on my iPad while relaxing on the deck. I also love "dude movies". I connect with the boys over comics, super heroes, and action and adventure.
I used to curse God over my past and now I realize he was preparing me for this. I have a good grip on parenting. My Grandparents were the people that taught me about kindness. I lived with them when I was a teenager. They raised me.
I feel powerful after church on Sunday morning. I leave there feeling rejuvenated. Also, I feel powerful when I accomplish my goals. Structure is what works best in my life right now. I have been working on structure with the boys over the last year. Over the last 30 days I feel like things have really streamlined.
He told me, without hesitation, that if he was not afraid he would move to Africa and work in soccer ministry. I have no problem leaving the US. The main reasons I have not tried to move to Kenya is that it would mean the boys would not see their parents. I am sure their parents would not let them go easily.
When you asked if you could interview me I thought "why not". I was interested to learn about your blog.
What three words would your best friend use to describe you?
Passionate / Trustworthy / Open
What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?
The Saturday before Easter I enjoyed serving at church with my two boys. Then we went and had ice cream and made funny faces.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
Move to Kenya to teach at a school and work in a soccer ministry.
Where would we go for a "day of fun" in Kansas City?
We would go to Sylas and Maddy's for ice cream. Then we can head to Deanna Rose Farmstead and walk around to see the animals. Finally, we will have dinner at Texas Road House.
We would go to Sylas and Maddy's for ice cream. Then we can head to Deanna Rose Farmstead and walk around to see the animals. Finally, we will have dinner at Texas Road House.
What event most shaped you over the last year?
Getting a second child. I have been working to manage the different personalities, meeting each of their needs, and I have worked hard on patience.
What is your favorite part of your life right now?
There are lots of great things about single. I am free to do what I want and I have more time in my day.
What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?
I am happy being single. A relationship would be nice. I would be honored to be a husband. But, I'm not in a hurry.
What do you know for sure?
I love God. And, I don't want it to rain when I run.
What is your mantra?
(1) Get over it.
(2) Just roll with it.
(3) Let's see what happens.
(2) Just roll with it.
(3) Let's see what happens.
What question do you want to be asked?
How are the kids doing?
If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?
Stay faithful.
Your census data is: Single / 2 kids / Never married
But, who are you really? Single / Authentic / Love for God
So, what did I take away from this interview?
Structure. Even when life seems chaotic there is structure behind the scenes. The structure can be sound or it can be scary. Ultimately, we all make that choice. M9 is building a life on faith, devotion, and the intent to better those around him. He is unconventional in all the right ways.
Pattern. His childhood had some twists and turns. His grandparents stepped in to raise him when life made the ask. Now, he has stepped into the lives of two boys to ultimately do the same. People who are loved are better able to love. Your family can be traditional or "non-traditional". What matters most is to find a pattern in your life that builds family rather than tearing it apart.
Don't Ass-u-me. When you assume you make and ass out of you and me. M9 told me that when he enrolled the boys in school this year he had to provide an emergency contact person so the school would know who to call in the event he was unreachable. So, he listed his roommate. Of course, they have the same address...you might see where this is going.
When the school printed the directory they listed their names together. Like two parents...so, of course, the other parents think they are together.
In an effort to be accepting an administrator may have assumed too much in this case.
Pattern. His childhood had some twists and turns. His grandparents stepped in to raise him when life made the ask. Now, he has stepped into the lives of two boys to ultimately do the same. People who are loved are better able to love. Your family can be traditional or "non-traditional". What matters most is to find a pattern in your life that builds family rather than tearing it apart.
Don't Ass-u-me. When you assume you make and ass out of you and me. M9 told me that when he enrolled the boys in school this year he had to provide an emergency contact person so the school would know who to call in the event he was unreachable. So, he listed his roommate. Of course, they have the same address...you might see where this is going.
When the school printed the directory they listed their names together. Like two parents...so, of course, the other parents think they are together.
In an effort to be accepting an administrator may have assumed too much in this case.
How did he shape me?
M9 is an excellent illustration of single life in our generation. We are called to love and care for one another. "One another" does not always indicate "spouse". So many of the singles I have interviewed are dedicating a significant portion of their time and energy to caring for another person. (parent, child, sibling, friend, you name it).
These scenarios introduce a lot of complexities and also cut their tolerance for shallow or casual relationships. Side affects (of caregivers) may include a significant reduction in the amount of time for dating, inability to deal with drama, and high levels of sensitivity to dimly lit bars, speed dating, pick up lines, selfishness, ignorance, and laziness.
Life doesn't always happen in the order we think it will. He told me that he would be honored for someone to choose him to be a husband. Judging by his genuine dedication to the things he loves in life now I imagine he would be a dedicated and substantial partner when or if the right relationship comes along.
For now he is living a life of integrity and changing at least two little lives in a very powerful way.
As I noted in my M1 interview being a good father does not make you a good man. But, a good man can become a good father. Being a parent is not a virtue. Living your life out of love, kindness, and gratitude is.
M9 is an excellent illustration of single life in our generation. We are called to love and care for one another. "One another" does not always indicate "spouse". So many of the singles I have interviewed are dedicating a significant portion of their time and energy to caring for another person. (parent, child, sibling, friend, you name it).
These scenarios introduce a lot of complexities and also cut their tolerance for shallow or casual relationships. Side affects (of caregivers) may include a significant reduction in the amount of time for dating, inability to deal with drama, and high levels of sensitivity to dimly lit bars, speed dating, pick up lines, selfishness, ignorance, and laziness.
Life doesn't always happen in the order we think it will. He told me that he would be honored for someone to choose him to be a husband. Judging by his genuine dedication to the things he loves in life now I imagine he would be a dedicated and substantial partner when or if the right relationship comes along.
For now he is living a life of integrity and changing at least two little lives in a very powerful way.
As I noted in my M1 interview being a good father does not make you a good man. But, a good man can become a good father. Being a parent is not a virtue. Living your life out of love, kindness, and gratitude is.
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