Growth (W10)

My Dad is a giver to a fault. He is six years younger then my mom. He retired the year before she was diagnosed with alzheimers. He has given up his dream retirement and travel to take care of her.

W10 credits her father for teaching her about kindness. Based on our interview he is selflessly
dedicated to caring for his wife. W10 tries to spend weekends with her parents when she can. It was heartbreaking to hear about her moms condition and how advanced it is at such a young age. It was equally heartwarming to hear that she and her father have stepped up to the plate during what must be an incredible trial.

At 33 years old W10 says she feels most powerful when she knows what she is doing. Examples of when and where she feels powerful are when she is in the kitchen and when she is watching baseball. She is a devout St Louis Cardinals fan for sure!

When I asked about what made her decide to be interviewed she told me that she likes meeting new people. She was recommended by a mutual friend and said she enjoyed reading the stories.

She told me, "I think singles should speak up." (Now that is a thought I agree with)


What three words would your best friend use to describe you?

Energetic / Passionate / Loyal                                           

What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?

I went skiing at Snow Creek

What would you do if you were not afraid?

Try to open a restaurant. I would also do that if I was rich.

Where would we go for a "day of fun" in Kansas City?

Royals game with tailgating. Then head to Dave and Busters and play video games. Spend the evening sampling Brookside bars and restaurants.

What event most shaped you over the last year?

I was hospitalized following an attempted suicide. During that time I was able to focus on me. I learned that I need to think about what I need.

What is your favorite part of your life right now?

Spending time with my Mom and Dad. My mom has Alzheimers so time together is important. 

What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?

I'm actually really shy.

What do you know for sure?

I know my eternity. I am confident in that.

What is your mantra?

I don't really have one. My dad always says, "save your pennies".

What question do you want to be asked? 

What can I do? (mean it, do it, answer when I call)

If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?

It's OK.

Your census data is: Single / 0 Kids / Never married

But, who are you really? Single / Independent / Strong

So, what did I take away from this interview?

1. Do not take your health for granted. 

We never know what tomorrow will hold. You might get sick. Your parents might get sick. You might lose someone you love and be totally blindsided by it. Be the kind of person who stands by their friends and family. You have to show up when people need you. Maybe most importantly, let people in and ask for help when you need it.

2. Be honest.

She told me about her mothers illness and how it has affected her family. We discussed how sibling relationships are affected. We discussed how dating can be difficult when your partner doesn't understand the needs of an ailing family member and/or your desire to support them.

She told me that she had previously attempted suicide. Wow! She is living face-to-face with her truth and she was honest with me about it at a time when she didn't have to be. I was awe struck when she said it. My instant reaction was that I was in the presence of an incredibly sincere and vulnerable person.  

I hope that her honesty helps someone. Someone other then me. She felt her way through some dark times and she is working to find her way. As a very wise friend of mine often says the goal is "progress not perfection".

3. Have faith.

She is a person of faith. She believes in her God. She believes in her father. She believes in keeping mentors, friends, and family close. She believes in herself and works to continuously improve her physical, spiritual, and mental health.

How did she shape me?

She made a big impression on me. She was so real.

I felt like we had a lot of things in common. She is reserved, thinks logically, values family, and has worked hard on her education and her professional advancement. She takes care of herself, has good friends, and hobbies and interests that she enjoys.

And then she told me about her low moments. When you live alone there is no one there to observe your daily behavior. Extreme mental distress, depression, despair, and the wear and tear of every day life can be overwhelming. A person cannot reason their way out of emotional pain. No one is too smart to get depressed. Sometimes people suffer in ways others cannot understand. It is a startling reality.

I was amazed by her honesty about it, her resilience and willingness to face her pain, and her humility and sincerity when she talked about how her time in the hospital shaped her perspective.

Single people don't just field chores, bills, and socializing alone. We often face our fears, dark moments, and the storms of life alone. This interview alerted me to the importance of staying in touch with friends. I have to check in with friends to see how they are doing and let them know how I am.