We discussed "power" for a bit. What does it mean? How is that word perceived? In the context of these blog interviews power is a good thing. I'm looking for moments or environments when singles feel fully actualized.
What gets your blood pumping?When do you feel you have the world in the palm of your hand?
Where do you go to put a smile back on your face and restore your spirit?
Many of my interviewees have expressed feeling powerful at work. A few have admitted feeling powerful in moments of attraction and intimacy. I have heard exercise, public speaking, and even being in nature as being powerful moments.
Once I clarified my question Man 11 (M11) told me, "I feel powerful at work. I am good at what I do." Right now the thing that is working best in my life is my job. I get to do something different every day.
M11 is 36 years old. He has been a single parent, raising his daughter over the last 17 years. He told me about their relationship, coaching sports, dealing with dating, and finding ways to fill his time over the last few years as she has become more independent.
Based on our conversation parenting has come very naturally to him. He seemed grateful to have had the chance to raise his daughter. He told me about ending a long term relationship during the last year. Part of the reason for the breakup was different priorities. His primary focus was parenting and his girlfriend had a shared custody arrangement and was used to getting regular breaks from parenting obligations.
The thing people most misunderstand about being a single dad is that it is not rare. People seem to have a lot of respect for it. My daughter is the person in my life that has taught me the most about kindness. Having her is the reason I am pro-life.
So, now that his daughter is busy with school, sports, work and dating he is more focused on his personal interests. He told me that he took a small part time job to help stay busy.
I enjoy cookouts with friends, happy hours, or watching a game on my big screen TV with no distractions - just the quiet. My favorite music venue in KC is Jerry's Bait Shop.
I asked him what he might do in years to come. He didn't have any concrete ideas but I could see the wheels turning in his mind. "I would love to go abroad and contribute my time and efforts."
What three words would your best friend use to describe you?
Funny / dependable / responsible
What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?
4th of July - BBQ with friends, fireworks, and just catching up
What would you do if you were not afraid?
Go skydiving.
Where would we go for a "day of fun" in Kansas City?
Go walk in Downtown. We could go bar/restaurant hopping. Then we would go to a KC Sporting game.
Go walk in Downtown. We could go bar/restaurant hopping. Then we would go to a KC Sporting game.
What event most shaped you over the last year?
The breakup. I ended a long term relationship that I thought was headed toward marriage.
What is your favorite part of your life right now?
Possibilities. Options. I have time to focus on me.
What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?
Nothing. I am an open book.
What do you know for sure?
Life will only get better.
What is your mantra?
Work hard, play hard.
Walk it off.
Walk it off.
What question do you want to be asked?
How are you doing today? (shows that you care and starts a conversation)
If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?
Don't quit.
Your census data is: Single / 1 kid / never married
Who are you really? Single / interesting / attractive
Who are you really? Single / interesting / attractive
So, what did I take away from this interview?
We all live life in our own unique order. Some of us by choice and others by chance. M11 is 36 years old and will soon be free to spend his time and his money however he chooses. I am interested to hear what he chooses to do. Based on his willingness to be interviewed I am guessing he has a good sense of adventure!
Dads matter. If you have read my M1 interview you know I am capable of preaching on that topic.
I believe that the qualities that make M11 a man of character are the same ones that made him a dedicated father. His daughter has surely benefited from being the focus of his affection, attention, and dedication.
Maybe he will end up in a relationship, or find local groups or hobbies to get involved with, or go abroad to contribute to the world in broader ways. I don't think he knows where he wants to go yet but his willingness to explore the options is among his best qualities.
Dads matter. If you have read my M1 interview you know I am capable of preaching on that topic.
I believe that the qualities that make M11 a man of character are the same ones that made him a dedicated father. His daughter has surely benefited from being the focus of his affection, attention, and dedication.
Maybe he will end up in a relationship, or find local groups or hobbies to get involved with, or go abroad to contribute to the world in broader ways. I don't think he knows where he wants to go yet but his willingness to explore the options is among his best qualities.
How did he shape me?
He was honest. He told me about ending a relationship and the ups and downs that followed. He told me about his daughter and what it is has been like to raise her. He told me about his family, his friends, and his work.
He was open to opportunity. He didn't know where he would go next but he seemed alright with being in a time of exploration and change. He communicated uncertainty without it being colored by fear.
Talking with him was a really nice reminder that a good life can be very simple to attain. Take care of the people that matter to you. Be true to who you are. Keep your friends and family close. Drink a beer, sleep, and repeat.
He was honest. He told me about ending a relationship and the ups and downs that followed. He told me about his daughter and what it is has been like to raise her. He told me about his family, his friends, and his work.
He was open to opportunity. He didn't know where he would go next but he seemed alright with being in a time of exploration and change. He communicated uncertainty without it being colored by fear.
Talking with him was a really nice reminder that a good life can be very simple to attain. Take care of the people that matter to you. Be true to who you are. Keep your friends and family close. Drink a beer, sleep, and repeat.
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