I grew up surrounded by extreme poverty. My parents split up when I was six years old. From six to eighteen I just wanted to get out of there. My mother was either not willing or not able to care for us. I raised my siblings all the while living in a very small mobile home where my bedroom was a closet. I got out of there by joining the military. My Commanding Officer loved to push my buttons. He loved to get under my skin. Despite that I stuck it out and was in the service for nine years.
When I got out of the service I was engaged but we never ended up getting married.
Man 10 (M10) is now 36 years old. Something tells me I caught a mere glimpse of the very tip of the iceberg during this interview.
I have to get to a place where I am happy with where I am. I haven't hit that place yet even though I'm at a place where I have everything I need.
I feel powerful all the time because I know who I am. I am internally motivated. I know what I am good at and what I am bad at.
When people find out I am single they often assume, and sometimes even ask if I am gay. They try to find something that is wrong with me. It is hard for people to believe that being single is not the direct result of being in denial or somehow broken.
I'm inquisitive. I feel like I am on the right path in life. Things that are working for me include my hobbies like working on my Ford Mustang and my Harley. I also enjoy playing hockey, running, biking, and reading.
I'm not a huge music fan but when I see a concert it is all about the band I am seeing. If they are great it won't matter where the show is at. I don't have a favorite KC music venue. My favorite concert ever was AC/DC in Milwaukee.
What three words would your best friend use to describe you?
Inexplicable/ WTF/ WTH
What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?
Tried to climb The Rockies
What would you do if you were not afraid?
Dance
Where would we go for a "day of fun" in Kansas City?
Oktoberfest: Beer, brats, strudel
Oktoberfest: Beer, brats, strudel
What event most shaped you over the last year?
Climbing The Rockies. It was great to be pushed physically and mentally.
What is your favorite part of your life right now?
I love having choices. What isn't to love?!? I'm young, single, I have money, and I go where I want.
What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?
Nothing at this stage.
What do you know for sure?
I am me.
What is your mantra?
No regrets
What question do you want to be asked?
Why are you such a lone wolf?
If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?
Keep going
Your census data is: Single / 0 Kids / Never married
But, who are you really?
Single / Unexplainable / Taking full advantage of opportunities
Single / Unexplainable / Taking full advantage of opportunities
So, what did I take away from this interview?
M10 described a life in which he is very accomplished. He has risen above his circumstances. He is successful professionally and financially. His story is an amazing demonstration of the power we have over our destiny. It also illustrates how emotionally broken we can be. There is a dichotomy between the mind and the spirit. Most of us will never understand it even though we feel it in ourselves and, at times, see it in one another.
Some of us bear wounds from childhood that are so deep we can't see them anymore. That doesn't change the fact that we limp through life because of them. Tragedy can strike at any time in life. However, it seems to me that a child's broken heart is most permanent. M10 referred to his mother strictly by her first name. Obviously, not a term of endearment. No other relationship can impress the depth of love or pain that a parent is capable of impressing upon a child.
On the other side of the coin his ambition seems to be sourced from the same childhood experiences. He became a loner, a leader and a survivor early in life. At 17 he chose to improve his circumstances. He chose to take control of his life and make a drastic change. He makes no excuses. He is responsible for his success and has much to be proud of.
I know people carrying similar wounds who are in successful adult relationships. So, I know that the wounds M10 carries are not the reason he is single. I hope he finds a place where he is happy whether it be through relationship, faith, purpose, or peace.
Some of us bear wounds from childhood that are so deep we can't see them anymore. That doesn't change the fact that we limp through life because of them. Tragedy can strike at any time in life. However, it seems to me that a child's broken heart is most permanent. M10 referred to his mother strictly by her first name. Obviously, not a term of endearment. No other relationship can impress the depth of love or pain that a parent is capable of impressing upon a child.
On the other side of the coin his ambition seems to be sourced from the same childhood experiences. He became a loner, a leader and a survivor early in life. At 17 he chose to improve his circumstances. He chose to take control of his life and make a drastic change. He makes no excuses. He is responsible for his success and has much to be proud of.
I know people carrying similar wounds who are in successful adult relationships. So, I know that the wounds M10 carries are not the reason he is single. I hope he finds a place where he is happy whether it be through relationship, faith, purpose, or peace.
How did he shape me?
I was struck by how quickly I picked up on his pain even though he never made a negative comment. Regardless of our current relationship status we all want to be heard. We desperately need to be seen.
It is probably best that we cannot read one another's hearts, minds or souls. I'm not sure we would be prepared for what we found there.
On the other hand maybe that is exactly what we all need.
I was struck by how quickly I picked up on his pain even though he never made a negative comment. Regardless of our current relationship status we all want to be heard. We desperately need to be seen.
It is probably best that we cannot read one another's hearts, minds or souls. I'm not sure we would be prepared for what we found there.
On the other hand maybe that is exactly what we all need.
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