The Struggle (M12)

I think that people think being a single guy is so simple. They are wrong.

32 years old, from a small town in Missouri, Man 12 (M12) was a fun interview right from the word go. If you know me you won't be surprised to hear that I was late to arrive for the interview.  He was half way through his first beer when I sat down and, while he didn't know what to expect, seemed ready to spill.

On his way to meet me he picked up a call that unexpectedly delivered news that a good friend had died in an accident. That's right -- that happened. Tragic but true, part of our conversation was about how life gets cut short. Amazing people are lost unexpectedly. The people they love are left behind and, in a moment, your perspective is forever changed. It was a great moment to be near him and hear his candid thoughts about life, relationships, and finding ourselves in the midst of it all.

So, off we went...

The Sequel (M11)

I really don't like the word powerful. I don't want to have control. It is not in my personality.

We discussed "power" for a bit. What does it mean? How is that word perceived? In the context of these blog interviews power is a good thing. I'm looking for moments or environments when singles feel fully actualized.

What gets your blood pumping?
When do you feel you have the world in the palm of your hand?
Where do you go to put a smile back on your face and restore your spirit?

Many of my interviewees have expressed feeling powerful at work. A few have admitted feeling powerful in moments of attraction and intimacy. I have heard exercise, public speaking, and even being in nature as being powerful moments.

Once I clarified my question Man 11 (M11) told me, "I feel powerful at work. I am good at what I do." Right now the thing that is working best in my life is my job. I get to do something different every day.

Calm After The Storm & Before The Storm (M10)

I am always wondering where the fighter goes next. I have to get the chip off my shoulder.

I grew up surrounded by extreme poverty. My parents split up when I was six years old. From six to eighteen I just wanted to get out of there. My mother was either not willing or not able to care for us. I raised my siblings all the while living in a very small mobile home where my bedroom was a closet.

I got out of there by joining the military. My Commanding Officer loved to push my buttons. He loved to get under my skin. Despite that I stuck it out and was in the service for nine years.

When I got out of the service I was engaged but we never ended up getting married.

The Best Is Yet To Come (W15)

I wanted to stick my neck out and do something different. I decided to be interviewed because I am an open book. Being single doesn't mean I am not an adult.

Like several people I have interviewed recently Woman 15 (W15) was introduced to me by a previous interviewee. I love when that happens! I love meeting a friend of a friend. It's eye opening to see this chain link of amazing people unfolding all around me and realizing that the distance between us is one single conversation (accompanied by delicious mexican food in this case).

I have a good life. I enjoy running and listening to music. When I need to relax I like to get out on the water. Even sitting on the dock will work.

When I am running I try to focus on something different for every mile. It helps me get through the race. I try to finish in the middle of the pack. I feel powerful after I work out.

Now I See [spiritually] Meets Chaos [worldly] (M9)

I think the biggest misunderstanding people have about me as a single man is that I am either a player or I am gay. Actually, I am neither.

So, now you must be wondering what he does with his time. Right?

Man 9 (M9) is 36 years old. He has assumed guardianship of two boys whose parents were unable to care for them. He works full time (like most of us), is active in volunteer ministry at his church, enjoys running and spending time with his two boys.

I am an animal lover and have three dogs. My favorite music venues include my shower and my car. I think all honest people rank those among their top 3!  I enjoy reading books on my iPad while relaxing on the deck. I also love "dude movies". I connect with the boys over comics, super heroes, and action and adventure.

The Only Constant Is Change (W14)

I quit my job and took six weeks to visit Ireland and travel through Europe. I am so glad I took the time away.

On the day I interviewed Woman 14 (W14) she was 29 years old. A few days later she turned the big 3-0. I, for one, think that an extended European vacation followed by landing a new job is a great way to walk out of your 20's with a fresh perspective.

I am very competitive. I feel powerful when I am playing sports, after a tough run or a big challenge.

My family is the part of my life that is working best right now. We have become close in the last few years. My mom is from Ireland and I have a lot of family there. The trip was a great chance to spend time with them.

It's All About Timing (W13)

I feel powerful when I am being vulnerable. Over the last few months I have focused on being open and real. People perceive me as guarded even though I feel like an open book.

Woman 13 (W13) is 32 years old. She was headed out of town with a friend for a weeks vacation the day after our interview. She works in the creative realm and takes care not to allow herself to be overly consumed with her job. When I first met her she was bubbly and relaxed. She has a disarming smile and a welcoming nature about her.

I decided to meet with you and be interviewed because I am in a good spot. My friend asked me if I was interested and I figured I didn't have anything to lose. Right now the things that are working in my life are my job and finding a balance between work and social life.

The person who told me about the blog is a great friend that I have know since seventh grade. She is my mirror. I know she will be honest with me no matter what.