The Chardonnay Years (W8)

My late 20's were fun. I know. I paid off all the credit card debt.

My money works for me now. My finances are the thing that I feel is working best in my life now. I paid off my car and paid down my credit debt in the last few years.

From the very beginning Woman 8 (W8) was very open. She was sincere and confident. Extremely relatable. Now lets see how well I can convey the very genuine nature of our discussion.

These days I like seeing local bands at The Record Bar. I enjoy seeing shows at Sprint Center but only if I have great seats. I got a puppy over the winter and that keeps me pretty busy and entertained. When I wind down the day I like to play spider solitaire and watch old episodes of Friends. (now if that doesn't scream "30-something" I just don't know what does!)

I like to relax by grabbing a few drinks with friends. I feel  most powerful after hanging out with them. Good friends seem to balance out the crazy. I have a lot of people surrounding me that allow me to be myself. Spending time being in community leaves me feeling charged; empowered.

Discovery (W7)

"You have to celebrate yourself," she said shrugging her shoulders.

Oh, yeah. Then she confessed to sometimes thinking, "what is wrong with me?"
(I don't think I need to explain the two sides of the inner dialogue coin)

As we meandered through the interview she shared some insights learned on her path to finding her truth. "Someday I will fly." Those were her words which makes them beautiful.

"I prefer non-fiction over fiction." That's how she answer what books she likes to read. I learned that the same statement rings true of her view on life.

W7 is a 36 year old Entrepreneur in the midst of realizing her dream. She started her own talent agency in the recent past. She has been entrenched in building her business over the last year and expressed feeling powerful at work. "I enjoy working with actors. I feel needed and loved. My reputation is good." She feels trusted and esteemed; in control of her professional life.

Some low-key couch time watching Netflix is her idea of relaxing. (ditto) For a night of live music she enjoys seeing The Zero's or Dolewite at The Brooksider. She's not much for concerts but laughed about good times watching 90's cover bands with friends. (Sounds fun to me. Think they sing any Milli Vanilli?)

Feelings: Making Stuff Weird (W6)

She drinks whisky. That was all I needed to know; or so I thought. Women who drink whisky are
gritty. Even when her conversation or personal style is soft and sweet a whisky drinker has moxie.

Woman 6 (W6) has lived in Kansas City for four years. She loves Grinders, Crossroads KC for concerts and for live theatre she loves The Living Room Theatre.

What's working in her life right now? Acting and comedy. "I want to be a working actor. One that doesn't have to keep a survival job." She expressed feeling powerful when she is on stage with friends. She feels supported and knows that someone has her back.

In our discussion about acting she said, "I can do it because I was made to do it". She is aware that she may never find great wealth as an actor but would like to make a living. "I will never be broke. I'm rich in everything."

I asked why she decided to meet with me. We were strangers and at the time of the interview she had not read the blog. She explained, "I was asked to participate by a good friend. I'm in the arts and I wanted to be supportive and believe in your project. Give and take. I thought it sounded fun and not too serious."

It's Not You. It's Me.

We have all been there.


If you think you haven't been there you will be. Trust me!

You find yourself attracted to someone that is outside of your social circle. Or, maybe not your typical "type". Or, maybe they have a different faith. Different skin color. Different cultural background. Or, maybe, they are <insert gasp here> vegan.

It is a breath of fresh air to find someone you can relate to. Whether just a friend or something more intimate in nature finding a true companion is a rare and wonderful gift.  And then it happens.

Your friends. Your family. Your coworkers.

Everyone is a helper. They come busting in and kill your buzz. Opinions. advice. Cautionary tales. Suddenly your cozy little party of two becomes Open Mic Night.

All About Me (It's a Woman Thing) (W5)

"I feel powerful when I do something I am afraid of and I conquer it." Not everyone is comfortable admitting that but on some level I think we all feel that way. No matter the fear(s) conquering them is empowering. If you can just get up the nerve to do it.

Based on our conversation Woman 5 (W5) has been conquering fears her whole life. I don't know that she has necessarily been cognizant of it but her story is one of overcoming obstacles, believing for the best, and staying the course. I would characterize this 44 year old mother of three as a breath of fresh air.

When she wants to get out and enjoy herself she enjoys doing something physical. She specifically noted running 5k's at the top of her list. She likes music saying there are too many venues she likes to even try to name them. If it's Spring or Summer she likes to see concerts at Starlight. She told me one of her favorite concert memories is seeing James Taylor with her daughter.

She definitely knows what she doesn't like. "I don't like hard rock, opera, and please don't take me to the ballet."

Chapter 2: KC (M3)

"You don't have to share but you miss sharing." - Man 3 

(That pretty much sums it up my friends.) 

We met at Charlie Hooper's AKA my favorite bar. We had a really fun conversation. I would describe him as being young at heart. He is 39 years old which clearly is younger and more fun than it used to be.

M3 told me that people think being a single guy is easy and fun. While he agreed that it can be fun he said it's also a lot of work. "You have to do all the cooking, cleaning, ironing, and pay all the bills. I have to socialize, hire contractors, fix things; do everything alone." We agreed that it's the little things that add up sometimes. 

So, he is a musician. A self-taught guitar player and a drummer. He has his undergrad in music and taught music for period of time. Now he plays in local bars around KC from time to time with friends. (I must see this!)

Trust Yourself (M2)

"I hate TV; the only channel I actually enjoy is PBS. I enjoy playing guitar, riding my bike, and hanging out with friends."

He shared his view on KC music venues saying Starlight is his favorite for a concert. He likes Knuckleheads and the Clarette Club for smaller venues. (The Clarette! I had to smile. My Grandma used to go there. It is great for darts and pool. What a dive.)

Part of our discussion was about books we are reading and where we get our recommendations. He said one of his favorites is The Journals of Lewis and Clark (Lewis & Clark Expedition). He said he thoroughly enjoyed it and would recommend it highly.

Man 2 (M2) agreed to meet with me out of curiosity. A mutual friend made the invitation and he said that coming from someone he trusted and liked he agreed without hesitation or question. When I arrived to meet him he had not seen the blog and really didn't know what it was about other than meeting single people. He felt the interview was a chance for introspection.