Chapter 2: KC (M3)

"You don't have to share but you miss sharing." - Man 3 

(That pretty much sums it up my friends.) 

We met at Charlie Hooper's AKA my favorite bar. We had a really fun conversation. I would describe him as being young at heart. He is 39 years old which clearly is younger and more fun than it used to be.

M3 told me that people think being a single guy is easy and fun. While he agreed that it can be fun he said it's also a lot of work. "You have to do all the cooking, cleaning, ironing, and pay all the bills. I have to socialize, hire contractors, fix things; do everything alone." We agreed that it's the little things that add up sometimes. 

So, he is a musician. A self-taught guitar player and a drummer. He has his undergrad in music and taught music for period of time. Now he plays in local bars around KC from time to time with friends. (I must see this!)

Being a musician I was especially curious about what music venues he enjoys. He named Starlight as favorite outdoor venue. The Midland is his favorite indoor venue; he saw the Allman Brothers and Nickel Creek there. For smaller spots he called out Twin City Tavern as an old standard in Midtown.

He was an only child which I would never have guessed based on his personality. He played soccer and was a swimmer as a kid. He characterized himself as active and enjoys home improvement, sports and playing music in his free time. "Just don't ask me to do the Warrior Dash - I am not a runner." His ideas for relaxation include sleep, "me time" (one of my favorite phrases), and hanging out with friends.

He said he doesn't have much of an attention span so when it comes to reading he prefers the news over novels. His go-to's are NPR and Fox News. 

So when does he feel powerful? When he is playing music with friends. "I love playing music at a bar after warming up." He feels confident and able to influence clients in his position at work. He said it is also a good time for him within his family. As with everyone he has things he would like to improve upon but felt that all in all I caught him at a good time. He feels good about the direction of things and said it has been a pretty good year.

We talked about the Pope. I love hearing opinions on the Pope; it seems regardless of a person’s stance on Catholicism he is of great interest. He said he loves the new Pope. M3 said that religion should be about peace and community; unfortunately it seems to be more about war. While he does not regularly attend church he said that is mostly due to not enjoying the format. He is not seeking a change in religion. Church just simply does not move him right now.

Some of the things that do move him include local charities like Harvesters and Habitat for Humanity. Both of which seem like great places to find peace and build a stronger community.

What three words would your best friend use to describe you?

Funny / Sincere / Reliable                                                     

What is the most fun thing you have done in the last 30 days?

Two weekends ago I played electric guitar with a friend’s band. We were awesome. Everyone was having a great time and we played for over an hour after closing.

What would you do if you were not afraid?

I think I would be worried. Fear makes you stronger; it pushes you to do new things.

I guess I could be a more free spirit. I would move to California or Oregon and be a roadie. Not for some BS band. Maybe for Widespread Panic.

Where would we go for a "day of fun" in Kansas City?

Worlds of Fun during the day. Then we would go to The Jazz for dinner and listen to some music.

What event most shaped you over the last year?

I got a job promotion last summer. I've been wanting it for years. 

What is your favorite part of your life right now?

Being alive. I like who I am. I'd say it's 90% good. 10% bad.

What would new friends be surprised to learn about you?

I can be very introverted. I think everyone is like that. I am well rounded. I like sports, art, and music. I care how I am perceived and I want respect.

What do you know for sure?

If you work hard enough you will succeed. It's all in your head. Mental strength and confidence are key.

I feel I am very successful. 

What is your mantra?

I don't necessarily have one. I am focused on being active, playing music, my job, and I care about people.

What question do you want to be asked? 

What do you think? (That question makes me part of a conversation)

If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in 2 words?

Grow up.

Your census data is: Single / No Kids / Never married

But, who are you really? Single / Fun / Adventurous

So, what did I take away from this interview?

People are so much more than their day jobs. 

If I had stuck with my go-to conversation I would never have known this guy loved music and is actually good at it. He has a music degree and everything! I'm not sure how I would have gotten to the music information in a more casual conversation but I am sure it would have taken some talking.

I messaged him on Facebook to ask for an interview. I wasn't sure if he would respond to such a passive invite. He told me that when he got my message his thoughts included, "oh good Lord", and just letting it go away by politely ignoring it. After thinking about it a bit he said he investigated the blog. He said he wanted to ask me questions. Finally, he decided he had nothing to lose and it would be a good opportunity to think about himself differently. Maybe even get to know himself better.

How did he shape me?

First off, don't judge a book by its cover. This was such a fun interview. I learned a lot about him. I also learned that I had a lot of assumptions about this friend-of-a-friend that were completely off base. Nothing bad, just not accurate.

Second, I am glad to hear that putting my little social experiment in the public realm is causing other people to think about who they are and how they are relating to other people. 

Finally, if you want to get to know people you have to extend the invitation. When you get an invitation to get to know someone new take it. It could be fun. When we remove all the ridiculous, made-up, "what-if's" pressure from meeting new people it is quite enjoyable.